Forgiving Myself

When I first began “healing” I used to curse my younger self. I was embarrassed, angry, and annoyed for how foolishly I acted for so many years.

How reckless I was towards myself, how careless I was, never minding myself.

But the more I learned and grew, the more I realised the necessity to have both compassion and forgiveness for young Danielle. 

Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, and we all do what we think is best at the time. 

Understanding my behaviour

Sometimes social constructs and conditioning get in the way. When we are young we are so easily influenced by what we consume and unfortunately, it’s not always the best.

When I look back and realise how much I used to distract myself by partying or being an adrenaline junkie, I can see that I didn’t want to spend time with myself or appreciate my life because I didn’t value myself. 

Recentering my focus to forgive

I was sometimes so concerned with how I would make others feel that I rarely would check in on myself and give myself some much-needed love. 

When I look back now, I’m no longer embarrassed, I honestly just feel bad.

I was so incredibly nasty to myself for so many years and was incapable of seeing my potential.

Berating myself for not being as good as anyone else I came across.

My ego took over. I was concerned with status, looks, material goods, and extrinsic rewards.

The road less traveled

But I can now forgive myself. I’ve learned that, although I may not have been on the best path, I’ve found a better one where I can build a beautiful relationship with myself from here on out. 

Stop letting yourself suffer, start having compassion and forgiveness.

Whether it is yourself you must forgive for your past mistakes or somebody else in your life that has wronged you. 

Questioning the grudge

Ask yourself, why am I holding onto this conflict? Why do I find it so hard to forgive this person? Is carrying this burden doing me any good?

Sometimes we hold onto this burden that hurts us much more than the other person. 

Meditate and question it.

Journal on it.

Forgiveness is the first step, letting go comes with time. 

Write a letter

If you’re finding it hard to forgive someone, try writing a letter to them, saying everything you need to get off your chest. Once you’ve written it, burn it, throw it away or keep it. 

I’ve found this exercise incredibly freeing. 

Have compassion

Another reminder that has always helped me was putting myself in the other person’s shoes, trying to understand and have compassion for someone. 

Remember, hurt people hurt people and if you are holding onto this, you do probably have some love for this person. Maybe they are the person who needs the love most of all.