Are you in a decent to high-paying job surrounded by material things that promise to make you happy, and still question why you’re not?

I remember driving through the countryside in Bali one day. I passed a group of elderly people bathing in the river. My initial reaction was shock of them being nude in public, followed by pity. 

I then noticed something bizarre. They were laughing. And having fun! I quickly realized that this was a community experience. My shock faded and I was left feeling ignorant for my initial reaction of pitying these women. This ritual brought them all so much joy each day. Who was I to pity how they found joy?

They have something much more valuable than any materialistic good…  a sense of community and gratitude.

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

Material goods, status and social popularity do not bring you joy. The whole idea that “money doesn’t buy happiness” is a reality. 

Living in a number of developing world countries taught me that. 

I met some of the most inspiring, uplifting people who valued relationships, and would offer more than what they had. 

Sure, that new Porsche, a 4 bedroom house, and a promotion to manager will make you feel happy in the moment. But soon you’ll pass by your neighbor with their new Lamborghini, pulling out of their 7 bedroom house, and speeding off to their CEO corner office, and you’ll realize your happiness and sense of self-worth didn’t last long.

One Shared Goal and The Search For Happiness

All of us share one thing in common. We all strive for, put up with certain things, and work through the unbearable shit life throws at us for our one shared goal. 

We all want to be happy.

Happiness can look different for each of us. 

We all strive and work towards what we are told will “guarantee” our happiness. 

As we grow up, billboards, movies, celebrities and magazines are shoved in our face showcasing what is supposed to be the “perfect life”. Whether it’s the best job, the great looking spouse, the trendy wardrobe, the extravagant house, or more recently, a high social media influence where we can show off how great our lives are to others. 

Can you recall a time when you desired all those things? Or even just one of them. And when you finally did obtain just one of your ‘dreams’, how did you feel? 

You may have discovered that this ‘happiness boost’ from what you thought would guarantee joy, didn’t actually last as long as you dreamed it would nor was it as intense as you fantasized it would be.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one to have gone through this.

We’ve been conditioned by marketing to think that these material goods and status will bring us happiness. And although they might for a while, it’s usually short-lived. 

“Gratitude Turns What We Have Into Enough.”

You may know people who have endured extreme difficulties in their life – the loss of a loved one, sickness in their family, a near-death experience, losing their job. And, oddly enough, it is those who have endured misfortune and made it out the other side that radiate happiness. 

Why is this? What bridges the gap between these two groups of people?

Those who have endured misfortune in their lives and come out the other side rarely put as much value into external rewards, instead they are grateful for what they have. 

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha

It Is Only With Gratitude That Life Becomes Rich

You will become so much richer when you are grateful for what you have rather than yearning for what you don’t. The reality is that there will always be somebody else who knows more than you, possesses more than you, and is more skilled than you at something and that is okay!

No amount of money or materialistic goods is going to fulfill you. When you focus on what you already have – your health, your family, a roof over your head, running water, food to support your strong body – you begin to realise how lucky you really are.

“Once you have basic needs met, more money doesn’t seem to buy more happiness. The difference between a person who earns $5,000 and $50,000 is dramatic. The difference between a person who earns $50,000 and $50,000,000 isn’t.” Daniel Gilbert, PhD

It is not happiness that brings us gratitude. It’s gratefulness that makes us happy. 

Stop, Look, Go

Every moment is a gift and there is an opportunity in every single moment. You just have to recognise it. 

Stop and acknowledge the present moment. We always seem to be rushing through life. Seldomly do we take the time to appreciate all that we do have in life.

Look around and open all your senses to the wonderful richness that life has given to us. Allow yourself time to pull back from your hectic schedule and the ever-present phone and just observe your surroundings.

Go out into the world with a keen, open eye for opportunity. What we can do is whatever life offers you in that present moment. Most of the time it’s to enjoy the moment. Go with it. 

Gratitude Shower

Something that I’ve found useful is when I’m in the shower, I allow myself to think of all basic needs that I’m grateful for. As I let the water rush down my body, I think of how lucky I am to have hot running water, for clean sanitation, the roof over my head, my bed to sleep. Being grateful for having our basic needs met puts into perspective how lucky we truly are. 

Loving Kindness Meditation

One of my favorite types of meditation, the loving-kindness method instructs us to think about another person. Whether it’s a loved one, a distant relative, an unpleasant coworker, or even someone you haven’t met, just focus on that person. As you meditate, direct positive energy towards yourself and allow this positive energy to spread to whomever you are focused on.

This kind of mind-training practice not only changes passing emotional states but also reshapes our enduring personality traits by helping us learn about the nature of our own minds. Practicing loving-kindness meditation also helps dismantle false assumptions about what leads to happiness and well-being.

Over time, meditation may be the gateway to creating insights that change our outlooks on ourselves and others, thereby, increasing our ability to feel empathy and compassion.

Gratitude List

Writing down 5 things you’re grateful for each day will help you recognise how much you have to be grateful for. Check out some journal prompts on gratitude to inspire your writing

A Minimalistic Lifestyle

I’m not saying in order to be grateful you have to throw out everything you own and live from a capsule wardrobe. 

But if you are living in a cluttered space, either physically or mentally, attempt a ‘Marie Kondo’ on your life. Go through everything you have and ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy? Or has it been sitting in my wardrobe, unworn, saving it for a ‘special’ occasion?” 

When you have less things, you can appreciate what you have.

Changing Your Mindset

We all get frustrated. It’s part of being human. It could be anything from somebody cutting you off on the road, not getting that promotion, or your partner constantly leaving the cabinets open. It can be hard in the moment to remain positive, but instead try to tackle that annoyance with gratitude. 

Instead of allowing that frustration to simmer, focus on everything going right. “How lucky I am to be driving.” “I worked hard for this promotion, but I’m in a rewarding job that I love.” “The cabinet may have been left open, but my partner did cook a good dinner.” 

I always think you can flip a situation to make it a positive lesson. Because everything in life is either a blessing or a lesson.

Changing your mindset to be more grateful can be one of the best ways you can appreciate what you have and not constantly yearn for more. 

The Race Is Long But In The End, It’s Only With Yourself

If you continually compare your life to others, you will feel inferior. But at the end of the day, the race is only with yourself.

Life isn’t a competition, it’s a journey. If you are trying to find and live your “best life,” there’s little chance you’ll find the need to post it all over Instagram. Because you’ll already be living in the moment and appreciating your life for what it is, and not for what it isn’t.

Keep growing and loving ✨